... and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one hundred percent!"–Dr. Seuss, Horton Hatches an Egg
Many of our teachers have been aspiring to be more like Horton the elephant lately! This week four of us attended a workshop on intentional language presented by Scott Noyes. We reviewed eleven phrases commonly used by teachers in the classroom, dissected their meanings and how they sound to children, and talked about how to say what we actually want to convey. The phrases included "Good boy", "Isn't she cute?", "That didn't hurt", "No thank you", and "Tell him you're sorry." Any one of those phrases would be a ripe topic for writing about–and if one of them piques your curiosity feel free to ask Hannah, Amanda, Shannon T., or me about it–but today I'd like to focus on "Tell him you're sorry."
As a teacher it's hard to see a child I care about make a mistake that ends up hurting another child, either emotionally or physically, and I can only imagine that it's 10 times harder to see that as a parent. Adults have the emotional maturity to understand what it feels like to be sorry and we all have our own ways of expressing it genuinely. Genuine apologies can go a long way in rectifying our mistakes, and it's easy to think that we can just transfer that intention to our children by telling them to say sorry. But a child saying sorry because an adult told them to do so is not a genuine apology. In my experience it does little to help the hurt child feel better or to help the wrongful child overcome the mistake.
Scott offered two ways to help children work through mistakes and bad decisions. First, when we adults make mistakes, we can verbally acknowledge them and genuinely apologize. My infant room experiences the occasional hectic moment when three children need bottles and two others need diaper changes all at once, and in my haste to meet everyone's needs, I've sometimes forgotten to tell a child I was going to pick them up before I did so. In those moments I really try to catch myself and apologize to the child for my mistake: "I'm sorry I picked you up without asking you first" plus a little hug often helps. Second, especially with older (verbal) children, we can coach them through rectifying mistakes. One part of this is using direct language to reflect back to the child what just happened: "Sally, you pushed Tracy and that hurt her." The purpose of this part is not to shame Sally but to help her truly understand the results of her actions. (And I should note that in this situation, I or another teacher has already checked in with Tracy and tried to comfort her). Then we can ask Sally what should be done next or offer suggestions if needed: "What could you do to help Tracy feel better? Would you like to ask if she's okay? Maybe you could bring over her favorite toy." Another option is, "Sometimes when I feel I've done something wrong, I say that I'm sorry. Would you like to try?" Depending on the context of the situation–the intention behind the wrongful action–we can also talk about what to do differently next time: "If you want the book that Tracy has, you can ask to use it when she's done" or "If you need space to get by you can say, 'Excuse me, Tracy.'" Often those suggestions are not even needed; we can simply ask, "What could you do instead next time?" By working together with Sally to authentically engage in solving the problem and remind her of alternative options, we both help her learn from the situation and show her that she has not lost our respect or esteem just because she made a mistake.
Thanks for reading!
Megan
News and Reminders
The annual Solstice Stroll is coming up on Friday, December 22 at 5:30 starting at Town Hall. Come join us! We will be making lanterns with the children at school but families are also welcome to make their own to carry.
Classroom Updates
Infant I
Our children have had an experimental and exploration-filled week. One of them finally broke through the crawling barrier and had so much fun figuring out many things do with his new skill. We found that open space became very appealing both to him and to our almost-walkers; we opened the gates and our children took off, doing laps up and down the hallway. Scarves were also a major focus for everyone this week. A couple of our younger children are apt to become lost in them (figuratively). It seems they could spend hours manipulating them over their bodies and faces. One of our older children experimented with crawling and climbing while keeping a scarf over her head. As you might imagine, she found that degree of opacity matters! Finally, our oldest child has taken to stacking anything from books to wooden blocks in structures that, to me, resemble hiking cairns. Keep an eye out for them around our classroom and in our outside space.
Infant II
Greeting each other in the morning has become a new routine in our classroom. the children that are already here go to the gate and greet the arriving children with either their name, hellos, a wave, or shrieks of excitement. It has been a nice way to start the day for everyone. Our children have also been very interested in moving our two new stools around the classroom this week. They have experimented with balancing them on the climber and pillows, climbing on the and flipping them over, and sitting on them in new ways. Other highlights of the week included early morning sponge painting, walking in the slippery mud outside, and trying many new foods at meal times.
Toddlers
We had a good week of settling back into our classroom routines after our Thanksgiving break. This week we began working on our lanterns for the Solstice Stroll in a couple weeks. We began layering the first step of red and green with markers, and next week we will use paint to add another dimension. The children are really enjoying the process. Books and stories have been very popular this week with a particular interest in Otis. We also worked hard on being gentle with each others' bodies and giving high fives to our peers when wanting to be close to each other.
What a wild week of weather! As snow gave way to rain and mud, we worked really hard on stuffing our winter gear into our Tuffos. The effort was well worth it–whether in snow or mud, the children are obsessed with sleds right now! We're working hard on those tough negotiation skills: "I'm still using this," "May I have it when you're done?" and the hardest part, waiting! When sledding wasn't an option, PS1 helped the toddlers build an obstacle course to share. Inside, we're really interested in counting and quantifying. Some children can read 0, 1, 2, 3, and 4!
Preschool II
On our first adventure back to C.S. woods since the snow we found an abundance of animal tracks including rabbits, deer, and a fox or canine that seemed to follow wherever the rabbit tracks went. We followed them for a while–around the trees, over stumps and rocks and back towards school. We also made two trips to the library, one for Story Hour and one for Art Center Activities. Both trips included exciting stops at the ice rink to watch hockey practice and the Zamboni cleaning the ice. On Friday some of us helped make fruit salad for Infant I and II and then we all went downstairs to read our favorite book this week, An Alligator Under My Bed, as well as our Friday book, All the World.
Highlights in PreK this week included venturing off campus to some of our favorite forest destinations. We've been across the street to the area formerly referred to as "deer playground" (no deer scat to be found now that they've cleared the space). We found a very large fallen tree and have had a great time testing our climbing and jumping skills on the upturned root system. On Wednesday we took Ryan on a hike along the Woof Trail where there are more amazing trees to explore. Inside we've been all about our dramatic play boxes. Early in the week we used our hospital props and, later, the hair salon. It's always entertaining and insightful to observe and engage with the children in this kind of play. Quote from F about the old fashioned pink rollers: "My Grandma has those! It's to make her hair curly just like mine. But she can't." Next week we are planning to open up the "Gingerbread House Ice Cream Shop." Save those empty dessert containers for us.
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