Beating Drop Off Dilemmas

Drop Off Dilemmas and Hope to Cope
I firmly believe that the "morning person" is a very special breed. It's that individual who seems to effortlessly float through the morning with plenty of time to sip coffee and read the news, having packed all the lunches the night before, preemptively setting out the next day's outfit, all while fortifying their body for the day ahead with slow cooked steel cut oats dashed with walnuts. Then, they breathe deeply through any traffic snafus and arrive relaxed at work, feeling their best.

I am not of this ilk. Invariably, I forget something at home, squeeze in too much, leave my coffee atop my car, or mismatch my socks. And I don't even have children. So, when I see our parent superheros making their way in the world, juggling everything and not even appearing to break a sweat, well, needless to say, I think you're kind of a big deal.

I don't need to say, but I will, that parenting can be stressful. And that stress is sometimes compounded by morning drop offs that can leave you emotionally wiped and set to crawl back into bed rather than head off to work. In this week's article, we'll break down a few strategies to minimize tricky school drop offs, with some practical advice that you can start implementing on Monday morning.

Whether drop off struggles are daily or occasional, there are a few ways to ease the transition from home to school for both parent and child. The most crucial element of which is consistency. When I say consistency, I mean consistency is your morning routine, the expectations for behavior, what will happen once you arrive at school and say good bye, and the language you use with your child. Consistency is the key to helping eliminate a lot of push back from children, because it provides a real feeling of safety and security that they need to be at their best. Imagine a world in which you simply do not not know what to expect all of the time. That's scary. And when sacred and confused, even we adults have the propensity to act out. Consistency need not be confused with rigidity. When a child knows just what to expect from the adults in her life and the day ahead, she can function at a higher capacity and focus on the business of growing up.

With consistency in mind, consider these ideas:

1. Keep your morning routine, routine. From wake up to arrival, keep things the same. While some of the children are getting really good at telling time, most kids aren't completely dialed into the concept of time. So, routines in a specific order help children figure out how long until the next thing. And being able to anticipate what comes next is reassuring. First potty, then breakfast, then get dressed, then we drive to school.

2. Arrive at school and let your kiddo get to work! All of our classrooms have a very similar (nearly identical) to start the day: Bag away, changes shoes, wash hands, lunch away, hugs/kisses wave goodbye. This is very intentional. This way after a period of time, the child knows just what to do upon arrival. In fact, as your child grows, he should need less and eventually no direction in this process; he knows just what to do and when. Believing in your child's capability is something they can truly feel. What a way to start a day: "The grown ups around me trust me and know I can do it."

3. Avoid the inclination to linger. This is a tough one. Children who express their distress about your leaving certainly tug at the heartstrings. And we all like to feel needed by our kids. But, succumbing to the child's request of "stay with me" actually does more harm than good. Again, back to idea of consistency here, when a grown up teeters and totters, and gives into reading just one more story or looking at three more things, a level of uncertainty is created within the child. Uncertainty leads to powerful emotions. AND, negatively, the child learns that she can bargain, or that her crying is an effective way of keeping dad around for ten extra minutes. So, without sounding too harsh, shut it down. Instead, firmly and lovingly acknowledge the child's feelings and then tell them what is going to happen:

"I hear you saying you want me to stay. But I have to go to work and you have to go to school. I'm leaving now, and I'll see you this afternoon. I love you."

Then, have your hug and kiss and head out. It really is okay to go once you've told them the expectations. Yes, even if they are crying. Trust that once you leave, your child is able to turn around quickly and either take time by themselves, engage in play, or hang with their peers.

4. "Sneaking out" = Don't do it! I hope I don't sound like a broken record, but the sneak out approach gets back to the heart of the expected = reassuring vs. the unexpected = scary. And on the same note, don't distract the child from your leaving like so: "What will you do?/Look at those cool trains!" These tactics don't allow the child to direct their own play, or give the child time to feel their feeling and process them. Instead, go with the direct, honest approach: "I'm leaving, and I love you." It will pay off.

5. And finally, remember, we're here to help. If you've had an especially trying drop off time, and want to know how your child is adjusting, feel free to call and ask. It's rare that those emotions last all too long into the child's day, but that reassurance can go a long way in helping you transition into your own day, and we get that.

Laying out these limits and consistency can be difficult at first, but with this kind of attention and follow through, drop offs, as well as other areas of a child's behavior can and do get better.

Classroom Happenings
Infant I: This week the children enjoyed lots of splashing and bubble making in the sensory table. We poured water with a variety of different containers, spoons and even tried a couple of different balls too. Another sensory experience from our week was painting. We took a different approach by having the children paint individually at the chairs; instead of painting with their hands, they used brushes and sponges to move the paint and make their artwork. New toys for gross motor play have found their way into our room including a pig scooter and rocking horse. The older children especially have enjoyed exploring their larger toys with both teachers and their peers.

Infant II: Great times outside! We've enjoyed the fresh air, the sunshine and the new snow. Our curiosity seems to run wild outdoors. Indoors we painted with foam pieces and sponges, and became fascinated with the way the overall feel and texture felt on our hands. We also explored the sand table and the kids were hard at play, dumping, pouring and scooping, all big developmental tasks for our little ones. We found new puzzles to solve in our room and we have been very determined to make the wooden shapes fit.

Toddler I: We went out exploring towards the end of the week with some short walks to take in the sun. We took turns heading up Thomas Lane in small groups and all got to check out the snowy construction site and listen for bird sounds. Our group snack times continue to be successful and we are having more and more conversations about food. Thanks to parents for sending in such yummy and nutritious items for the class. We are considering a baking project for next week after the items in our sensory table (oil and water, then flour) sparked a lot of questions. We have a new fish in our room and he is a very fast swimmer. The children have noticed this difference as compared to our former fish tenant. One child has suggested the name "Fast Fish." On the back playground, we seem to get better and better at climbing up the hill and are really working on sticking to it even when it's challenging.

Toddler II: Happy 3rd birthday to one of our students! We enjoyed the healthy birthday muffins he and his family made for the event. Speaking of food, we have enjoyed some new foods this week including smoothies with ginger and agave, as well as grapefruit. Upon first taste, many of the children would avoid the grapefruit, going so far as to pick it out of their fruit salads on Fridays. But now, they have come to really enjoy it. We have also been talking about the similarities and differences between the seeds we encounter in fruit, their size, shape and texture all get our attention. Our interest in challenging puzzles continues, and our new favorite book seems to be Don't Wake Up the Bear. We have been working hard at being calm and patient during our yoga practice. The children are really focused on what this looks like and keeping their peers on track. We are also interested in letter identification and going a step further than "this is the letter of my name," into "this is the letter that other words start with."

Pre-K: We've been eating well in Pre-K, just like our younger counterparts. New snack items this week included mushrooms, homemade tortilla chips (Sam can't stop thinking about them, among others here at school), and fresh cantaloupe slices. Next week we will be reading several books about food/trying new foods. We had another successful bus ride this week, but this time it was to the library on one of the more frigid days. P was for penguin and we learned lots of new penguin facts. In other-wordily news, we have become very preoccupied with ghosts and hunting them. The children use purple dots, black dots and magnifying glasses to locate said ghosts, and then record "information" about them on clipboards as they dramatically work their way around the room. On Friday, we trekked into town to watch the ice sculptors work their magic once again this year.

As Seen at MVS